I am so very sorry. You have no idea how much and I could never explain. I am very scarred. My past, my lack of living life, it all has played a major disservice to me which in turn is a disservice to you.
I yearn to make you proud of me. Failure is not an option for us, and I have failed you. I have failed to let my past go, to fully open myself up to you, to trusting everything I hold dear to you. I have done the one thing that I absolutely never wanted to do, I disappointed you.
NO MORE!
I am done living that life. I am done living in worry and fear. For the past two years, you have laid every fear of mine to rest.
I know that the past week has not been what either of us would have liked for it to be, and it is all my doing. Me holding on to this little bit of “control” has done absolutely nothing but harm us. I’m done. You can have it. YOU can have all control over me. I want and need for you to take this precious gift that I am offering up to you.
My reflecting all day today, conversations with you and others, as well as the article I shared with you…all of it made me realize one thing. It is time for me to do what I have feared the most, THEN I will truly be free.
From the bottom of my heart, I ask for your forgiveness. Please, take all that I am offering you.
All my heart and soul,
mamma
HouseofEclipse 