Negotiations….as my mentor says, “Negotiation is just another word for talking”, thank you Kayla Lords. I never saw it as that. I am a very literal person. I thought negotiation was another form of compromise. I tell you what I will and will not do, you tell me what you do and do not want, we see if we can find a middle ground. I felt like there is a ton of pressure in that. What if something he really, really wants is a hard limit for me? Does that mean he will just decide to walk away from me, from us? I was never wanting to bring up this topic due to my fears. Giving up my fears and learning how to do that is a topic for another time. lol Thankfully, Pappa and I have agreed to certain things that will NOT happen.
I do not like to air our dirty laundry, but if I happen to mention an issue that we are having, it is because I see it as a “teachable moment” as Pappa says. One of our rituals, is that we sleep naked (or at least bottomless), he spoons behind me, gives me a couple of good smacks on my ass, then pats my tummy as he falls asleep. Those smacks on my ass, they tell anxiety jenn, that she did a good job that day as a submissive. There are nights that I do not get either the smacks, or the pats on the tummy. There are nights that Pappa either isn’t feel good or is just plain tired and he falls asleep before me. I can tell you, those nights, I do NOT sleep well at all. The old me, the me whom I was before Pappa came into my world, I would have held my feelings in, held a grudge, then one day let it all out in a totally negative way. The new me, the mamma j me, I know, very calmly, explain to Pappa that I am not sleeping well at all. That I understand how he is feeling, I am not trying to apply any pressure, but that I need for our rituals to return. His response, “we will fix that tonight”.
“Negotiations”, “talking”, “communication”, in order to have a successful relationship of any kind, you MUST continue to do this. Renegotiate when things aren’t going the way you want them to. Do not fall into a rut, keep the lines open so that YOU can joy all that life has to offer!
Live, Love, Learn ❤
HouseofEclipse 