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Negative side of service submission

Ever have a moment, where your service, submissive side feels totally lost because you can’t give your D/type the one thing they really want? How do you handle that?

Pappa and I would like to add someone to our house. Right when we think we have found her we have been ghosted, too many times to count. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t just want this for Pappa. I do have some selfish reasons as to why I want to add her to us.

I have a constant internal dialogue going with myself. Maybe I’m asking & expecting too much. Maybe I’m moving too fast. Maybe I’m just expecting a miracle. The things that I want, the things that we want, they are negotiable. Why won’t she just be up front and honest with us?

What hurts the most though, not being able to give THIS to Pappa. If we never find her, Pappa and I will be perfectly happy with each other. I’ve even told him that it’s beginning to look like our triad will only happen in Heaven….when we both join Carmen.

But, I want to find her sooner than later. To be honest, it’s not easy taking care of Pappa & I know that I am a handful. I need to find a way to calm my service side when I feel the anxiety building. The feeling that I am failing my Pappa.

If I just described a situation that you can relate to, please feel free to reach out, for you are certainly not alone.

❤ Live, Love, Learn

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