Hello, I am the Queen of Negative Emotions, welcome to my world. I am going to say anything that I can to help change your way of thinking negative and become positive.
As much love as there was in the house I grew up in, negativity and perfectionism was at the forefront. I come from a long line of strong women. My Mom-mom will be 86 in June and my mother will be 64 next month. My grandmother has not only lost her only sibling, numerous aunts, uncles, and cousins, but she has also had to lose her husband, 4 of her 5 children, a son-in-law whom she treated like a son, and 3 grandchildren. She has gone through a lot of medical issues herself for the past 30 years. Her own physician stated to me that he can not believe she is still living. Medically, she shouldn’t be.
For 30 years, since Poppy died, my Mom has been taking care of Mom-mom. She has put up with words of abuse from her own mother. She is tired, beat down, and feels under appreciated. I, as the oldest daughter, have listened to my mother complain about her mother for the past 30 years. They always say that you hurt those that you know love you the most; you know they will never leave you.
Four years ago, after discovering exactly who my now ex-husband was, I pulled myself away from my mother. I decided that I needed to figure out my life on my own, using the tools that she had taught me. I knew that I had it in me to move on. As I said before, I come from a long line of STRONG WOMEN. Was it easy pulling away from my mother and her negativity? Hell no!!! That was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
How does all of this tie into my current D/s relationship? Pappa is the one that is there to guide me, hold me when I fall apart, and support me. He has seen first hand the negativity that I have had in my life. He is slowly pulling me out of the negative thinking that is inside of my head. He is the one that is helping me to discover the positivity that is in my life and all around me.
I didn’t have that in my previous relationship. That one….I was surrounded by a narcissistic fool.
Now, now I have a man that is ready, willing, and able to show me the positive way to live. A man that has been through the most negative parts of life yet chooses to remain positive and share it with me.
My cup runneth over.
Live, Love, Learn ❤